Archives for March 2018

What is Coaching

What is Coaching? You have probably heard about this word from your friends, or at workplace. Many people have made significant changes in their lives, careers, relationships, or financial situations by choosing the right coach. You might have worked with a coach (or more than one) to get the results that you wanted.

But what actually is coaching? And how does it work? What kind of coaching do you need?

These are probably the most common questions that people like you ask. Simply saying, coaching is a process of assisting people in identifying their goals, issues, challenges and problems, and helping them become more capable and competent in their lives or careers.

Coaching usually happens in one-on-one bases and it is because the client needs individualized feedback. Such sessions were traditionally physical; however, the advancement of the technology has enabled coaches and coachees to meet through online means of communication such as Skype or WhatsApp calls, although in some instances, it is highly recommended or even necessary that the meeting be held in a physical location.

It is one of the best ways in developing people’s skills, abilities and competencies. It can help you deal with your problems and issues before they become major problems for you. It is usually done on one-on-one basis.

The first step in coaching involves asking clients a series of questions to understand their real problems and the causes to those problems. Usually, what the client says is not the actual problem, but a sign of it. Clients usually make three big mistakes:

  • Deletion: Clients delete a part of reality and do not talk about it; this is partly because they think what they say to their coach is sufficient. For instance, a client might say “my husband doesn’t care about me” or “I have been trying but I have failed a lot”. Here, in these examples the first client did not mention how the husband is not showing care. What is care? How should he act to show care? Or for the second comment, the question is how did this client tried? What did he/she do specifically?
  • Distortion: This is another big mistake that a typical client make. For instances a client might say: “My manager wants me to be a bad performer” or “My boyfriend didn’t me last night and that means that he doesn’t love me”. These are very typical comments that a coach may hear in a session.
  • Generalization: The third mistake is when clients talk about their issues and they claim that everyone is like that, it will always be like that or that is the only way. The following statements are good signs of generalization: “Bad luck always come to me”, “I can never maintain a perfect relationship” or “I have to get a PhD to be successful”.

In such circumstances, your coach needs to ask right questions to explore the possibilities and to find the root cause of your problem. Once this is done, the process becomes easy. He/she will explore ideas and changes the way you view yourself and your world. In other words, he/she starts challenging your thoughts, attitude and viewpoint.

Coaching is about self-discovery and self-awareness; it is a process of empowering the client to learn and actualize their potential.
- Dr. Alireza Sharifi

Afterwards, the next step is usually removing your barriers or whatever holds you back from actualizing your potential and achieving what you really want and deserve. During this journey, your coach gives you tasks and you need to accomplish them one by one.

An experienced coach knows what to give you and what to expect from you. As a result, you will find yourself free from negative emotions, limiting believes and limiting decisions that you have built and accumulated throughout your life. You will replace blockages with positive learning, constructive emotions, liberating believes, resourcefulness and powerful states of mind.

The final step is “refining and reflecting”. Your coach helps you learn from your past mistakes and start living in the moment. Your attitude and your way of thinking will be changed, so, your behavior and outcome.

 

As a Certified Master Coach, I have helped many individuals and managers discover their potentials, invest in their resources and competencies and perform at higher levels. I have offered coaching services to several international clients since 2013. In Alta, I offer Executive Coaching and Personal Life Coaching. I offer Executive Coaching to managers who want to enhance their managerial soft-skills (such as communication skills, leadership styles, conflict management, state control, etc.), and Personal Life Coaching to individuals who want to get rid of their negative emotions and create a better life and a brighter future.

So, if you think and you feel that it is time for you to find your ultimate purpose, set meaningful goals, get motivated, get ride of negative emotions once and for all, and ultimately, learn new skills to achieve higher level of performance, do email me at Alireza@altatc.ca to set up an appointment.

Learn about ALTA’s “Design Your Life” program to learn all you need to learn about the Subconscious Mind.
For more information, email us at info@altatc.ca

Our Subconscious Mind – Part 1

You have probably heard a lot about subconscious mind. Many people use the “iceberg analogy”: your conscious mind is like the tip of the iceberg, and the rest is your subconscious. So, what is this subconscious mind?

Before I talk about the subconscious mind, let us define the conscious mind: Simply put, our consciousness defines our thoughts, logic and actions within our awareness. When you think, or when we are solving a problem or make a logical argument, you use your consciousness. This is your awareness. It is great to have it because it keeps us aware of our surrounding environment.

Our subconscious mind, on the other hand, is a combination of brain and the neurological system; our 5 senses. In psychology, it is considered as a part of our consciousness which is not in current focal awareness. It is like a storage room that whatever we know but not thinking of (or we do not know that we know), is there. That is our memory. But we are talking about something much more than that:

Besides memories and learned experiences, there are more things stored there. In fact, our subconscious mind is the platform on which your values, believes, habits, skills and competencies, and emotions exist and run. So, if you have powerful values and believes, you will be guided to do things that create great results; however, if you adopt inappropriate values or limiting believes, your behavior and habits will be totally different.

  • In most situations, we react without being fully aware; this is because these automatic responses are being controlled by the subconscious and unconscious mind. Let us explore the subconscious a bit further:

    Consider driving a car; at first, you need to be aware of everything and learn step by step. You need to find the gear, gas pedal, break, and many other things in the car; however, after driving for some time, things become automatic. You don’t even look at the gear, horn, or the break; you just use them.

    Our conscious mind, however, is like a processor: it processes thoughts and uses logic within its limited capacity. At the same time, whatever is observed or done by the conscious mind, is being recorded by the subconscious. As we do something new and carry out tasks, the subconscious learns from the mistakes, adjusts our actions and tries to set a modified pattern through which those particular tasks are being done without a mistake. It’s just like auto-correcting mechanism.

Here is an important point:

Your subconscious mind is designed to help you become successful; and it helps you through a goal-striving and auto-correcting mechanism that leads to that goal. BUT it is not able to define the target for itself. It is your job to define it.

Consider a sales man who is learning about sales. Let’s say that he approaches a list of clients and he gets rejected by all. Now he has two options: to feel sad and get disappointed or to to analyze what have gone wrong and improve.

Many people choose the first option: they get disappointed in these situations and do not want to continue anymore. If this salesman chooses that first option, a load of negative emotions will run through his body. He will tell himself things like “I cannot do it”, “I have no luck”, “I’m a failure”, “What am I dealing with all types of crazy clients?” and so on.

By saying so, he will program his mind to be a failure because his subconscious will define “failure” as its target. As a result, he will get what his mind is programmed to get.

Now consider the second option, he says to himself  that there should be something wrong: “Am I targeting the right person?” “Do I know how to sell?” “Do I know effective selling techniques?”

In this scenario, his self-talk will program his mind to learn from failure and correct it so that he achieves success (One of the most famous NLP Presuppositions says: there is no failure, only feedback).  When he does that, his subconscious mind will be programmed to look for success rather than failure. Thus, it will explore the experiences, memories, values and believes to find ways to correct undesired behavior in order to achieve good results.

NLP Tips from This Article:

  1. You are in charge of your mind, and therefore, your results.
  2. There is no failure; only feedback.

 

Check out our free seminars in Toronto through Eventbrite by typing “Alta Training and Coaching” or join us in our upcoming seminar on “Design Your Life“.

Learn about ALTA’s “Design Your Life” program to learn all you need to learn about the Subconscious Mind.
For more information, email us at info@altatc.ca