“I talk to myself very often. Is that normal or too much? Am I a normal person? Should I do that? Is it good or bad? Can I control it?”

Have you asked yourself these questions? I know you have. These are quite common questions I hear almost all the time, from my clients. Before I answer these questions, let me define the term “self-talk”:

Self-talk usually happens at our conscious level; however, it is influenced by our unconscious minds.

It is usually based on emotions that we experience at any moment. It is the main way through which we talk to our unconscious minds.

A self-talk can be positive and encouraging, negative or distressing, or instructional.

 positive self-talk  is a constructive and encouraging statement you tell yourself: “I love myself. I am confident”. “I am sure I can do it”. “My life is challenging but I am stronger than the challenges I face”.

A  negative self-talk  is a destructive and distressing statement. Examples include:“I am not capable”. “I am not good enough”. “I cannot feel happy”. “I cannot get the kind of money I want”. “Maybe I do not deserve a good relationship”. “I am too old for this”, etc.…

An  instructional self-talk  is a solution-seeking and guiding statement where you look for possible solutions. Examples include:“I should do this now”. “I need to call my client”. “I need to be more organized”. “I can start my piano lessons from this week”.

Self-talks are what people do naturally every day and everyone does it. They are not only not bad, but also healthy, if you can train yourself to manage them properly. No one can stop self-talks but everyone can become conscious of what they say to themselves throughout waking states.

By proper guidance and training you can eliminate, or minimize, your negative self-talks while maximizing your positive ones. This is key to better emotions and a more constructive and productive life.

Contact me if you have any questions or concerns about strategies that can help you eliminate and overcome your destructive self-talks. Let’s create a change that lasts.

Dr. Alireza Sharifi

www.dralirezasharifi.com  |  (647) 671-0002

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