What Causes Good People to Be Drawn to Bad People?


What Causes Good People to Be Drawn to Bad People?

Why are good people drawn to bad people? Why do individuals with positive energy find themselves attracted to those with darker energies? It’s a question that has intrigued many, including myself, during my tenure as a coach over the past decade.
I’ve repeatedly heard from my clients about the tendency for good people to gravitate towards those with less savoury characteristics. Yet, is this notion rooted in truth? While there’s a lack of concrete scientific evidence to support or refute this claim, dismissing it outright would be premature.

Understanding why good people are attracted to bad people is quite complicated. It’s not just one thing, but a combination of factors like our perceptions and thoughts, group behaviour, environmental and social awareness, and our identities.

By exploring these ideas, we can begin to understand why this occurs. It’s about how our brains, social connections, and bodies interact to shape our behaviours. By exploring these ideas, we gain insight into why good individuals might be attracted to not-so-good ones. Through this understanding, we can work towards making better choices and forming healthier relationships. So by digging into these ideas, we can start to figure out why this happens. Below is a list of certain key factors that might contribute to this phenomenon:


Opposites Attract:

One reason good people may be drawn to bad people is the allure of opposites. Psychologically, individuals are often intrigued by traits or behaviors that contrast with their own. Bad people may possess qualities that good people find exciting or intriguing, such as confidence, risk-taking, or charisma. This attraction can be initially captivating, leading good individuals to overlook potential warning signs.


Supressed Characteristics/Attributes:

If an individual is raised or trained, by parents, family, or the sciety, in a way to not be in certain ways, she/he might supress what they like to do. As a result, once these characteristics are found in another individual, they might be drown to these people without realizing why.


Psychological Needs:

Good people may seek qualities they lack in themselves or crave excitement they feel is missing. Psychologically, individuals are motivated by various needs, such as love companionship, validation, security or fun and adventure. Bad people may fulfill these needs temporarily, offering certainty, validation, sense of connection or excitement that good individuals find appealing. However, this attraction can be superficial and mask underlying issues.


Lack of Social Awareness:

Sensory acuity is defined as our ability to notice and interpret subtle cues from our surroundings, including body language and tone of voice. Lack of such understanding hinders us to grasp signals (early signals) in communication. As a result, a person with low level of self-awareness may be attracted to people with dark energies without realizing why it is happening.


Emotional Vulnerability:

Emotional vulnerability can make good people susceptible to manipulation or exploitation by bad people. Individuals experiencing loneliness, low self-esteem or self-confidence, or past trauma may seek validation or acceptance from others, even if those individuals exhibit negative traits. Bad people may exploit this vulnerability, using charm or manipulation to gain control over their victims. Bad people are usually experts in manipulating others. They give good people with vulnerabilities some validation, and sometimes excessive validation. Once that relationship and dependancy is established, they start manipulating by giving good people feelings of inferiority, worthlessness, and insecurity.


Social Influence:

Social circles play a significant role in shaping individuals’ perceptions and behaviors. Good people may become attracted to bad people through social networks or peer pressure. If bad behavior is normalized or glamorized within a social group, good individuals may be influenced to adopt similar attitudes or values. Additionally, social dynamics, such as admiration for a charismatic leader or desire for acceptance within a group, can contribute to attraction toward bad individuals.


Good People are More Conservative and Less Expressive than Bad People:

The idea that “Good people are more conservative and less expressive than bad people” suggests a complex relationship between behavior and morality. Some good individuals may hesitate to express themselves fully due to uncertainty or a desire to avoid causing harm. Conversely, some may overcompensate by being excessively expressive, trying to project goodness. Society’s norms also influence expression, with good behavior often seen as modest. Bad individuals, influenced by societal pressures, may exhibit more expressive behavior. Understanding these distinctions helps us navigate human behavior, promoting empathy and understanding toward others.


Unconscious Bias:

Unconscious biases can influence how individuals perceive others and form relationships. Good people may unconsciously overlook or minimize the negative traits of bad individuals, focusing instead on positive qualities or initial impressions. This bias can be reinforced by societal stereotypes or media portrayals that romanticize or glamorize bad behavior, leading good individuals to view bad people in a more favorable light.


Chemical Attraction

Biological factors, such as neurotransmitters and hormones, can influence attraction and bonding between individuals. The brain releases chemicals like dopamine and oxytocin during social interactions, contributing to feelings of pleasure, trust, and attachment. In some cases, good people may experience a chemical attraction to bad people, leading to intense emotional connections despite potential risks or consequences. This may be the outcome of previous factors.


Desire to Change Bad People:

Good people may believe they can change or redeem bad individuals through their love, kindness, support, or positive influence. This belief stems from empathy, optimism, or a desire to help others overcome challenges. However, attempting to change a bad person can be emotionally draining and may lead to disappointment or harm for the good individual.
To sum up this topic, it is important to mention that the attraction of good people to bad people is a multifaceted phenomenon influenced by a mix of psychological, sociological, emotional, and biological factors. Understanding these factors can help individuals recognize and navigate complex relationship dynamics, fostering healthier connections and personal growth.
Coaching Methodology by Dr Alireza SSharifi
Dr Alireza Sharifi

If you would like to enter this facinating field, know more about the power of hypnosis, or if you want to start learning this art and science to apply its techniques for yourself and others, contact me at (647) 671 0002 or email me at alireza@altatc.ca. Seize the opportunity to transform your life, enhance your skills, and embrace a future filled with purpose and success. Design Your Life with us, and unlock the tools to create the fulfilling and meaningful life you deserve. Alternatively, you can book a free 20-minute consultation.

NLP Work Psychology Training and Coaching

Join Our Free Training