Don’t be a Perfectionist

"Don't be a Perfectionist"

It’s better to make mistakes, learn and grow from them instead of being a perfectionist. A perfectionist tries to be good at everything and doesn’t get satisfied easily. Want to learn more? Continue reading the blog highlighting key points regarding perfectionism and ways to cope with it.

A perfectionist is a person who aspires to have everything perfect. They usually set high standards for themselves and others. Perfectionism, at times, can be inflexible and create stress and anxiety. It often creates a fear of failure and makes individuals suicidal. We all know someone who is a perfectionist and doesn’t get elated with what they do. They often criticize themselves, and working with them is an extremely arduous task.

Being a perfectionist can be advantageous in several ways. One tends to be highly organized, pays attention to details and is focused on life, but the negative aspects often overpower the positive ones.

Procrastination

Perfectionists often delay projects and tasks while looking for an ideal solution, time or context. Due to this, the task becomes extra complicated, which in turn makes them feel intimidated. Even unrealistic expectations make it difficult to accomplish them. These individuals avoid or continue to avoid the tasks in the long run.

Decreased Productivity

When perfectionists set a goal, they pay much attention to the intricate details. It also includes details that could be more important. As a result, they devote several hours to a single project, which degrades their productivity. Being fussy about the details will turn you into a workaholic and hampers your productivity in the future.

Stagnation

One of the significant drawbacks of perfectionism is stagnation. Perfectionists do things the way they want, which is the best course of action. They believe their ways are right and don’t take input from others. This refrains them from getting exposed to new situations and ideas from which they might have learned something, leading to stagnation.

Declined health

Perfectionists stay committed to their work until they don’t get where they want to be. They give up their food, sleep and recreation for their work. In addition, These individuals always think about negative outcomes and ways to eradicate them. Their physical and mental health gets worse, which deters their productivity.

Poor Relationships

A perfectionist often puts pressure on others to come up to their standards. However, their inflexible and rigid nature often pushes people away. It is difficult for them to associate as you don’t listen to or appreciate their ideas. Your unrealistic expectations hamper your relationships with your spouse, family, close friends and workmates.

Short Sightedness

Perfectionists often focus on small details, so they tend to overlook the bigger picture. They are more focused on the end result instead of being a part of the process. Instead, as a manager achieving the goals is your main objective instead of knowing the employees’ capabilities. Being shortsighted restricts your potential and abstains you from becoming a visionary.

As a perfectionist, you can turn these negative habits into positive ones. All you have to do is know your reality and make some amends.

The Root Cause of Perfectionism

One cause never leads to perfectionism. It is the blend of biological and psychological factors that results in such behavior:

Perfectionistic Parenting

According to studies, critical or perfectionist parenting in which parents have high standards for themselves or their children often leads to maladaptive perfectionism.

Social Factors

Perfectionism is an outcome of social factors. It could be rewarding for meeting high standards or lead to failure, for most being perfect. This often leads to positive and negative implications. Initially, you get positive rewards like success, praise, awards and promotions. However, over time they focus more on failure and letting or disappointing others. They raise their standard to meet them, which surges their fear of failure.

Insecurity

People who are non-perfectionists tend to think positively about themselves instead of negatively. They are well aware of the fact that they are flawed. On the contrary, perfectionists often experience low self-esteem once they find a slaw and being perfect will make them feel good about themselves.

Inferiority Complex

People with an inferiority complex tend to be harsh on themselves and feel worse than others. They tend to overcome it by being superior, intimidating others, or not showing up. These people suffer from lack of perceived significance and self-worth. They feel unworthy and not enough.

Feel Unfulfilled

Those who are unsatisfied tend to compensate for it via perfectionism. Facing your flaws or opening up can be intimidating when you are dissatisfied.

How to get rid of perfectionism?

Think like no one is watching

According to psychology, there is a concept known as the “Psychological Effect,” in which we tend to overestimate how others think or perceive us. People are concentrated on their life and don’t think about others’ opinions of them. Think like no one is watching you, which makes you worry less about others’ opinions.

Show yourself some compassion

We all make mistakes which is an opportunity to learn and grow. You can start this goal by taking up a new hobby you must enjoy instead of being perfect. Some mistakes will accompany it, but eventually, you will start getting better.

Be Open to Feedback

 Perfectionists tend to have low confidence levels as they want to be good at everything. Healthy criticism often leads to the betterment of an individual. It is normal to make and improve mistakes to be a better individual.

 

Therapy and Coaching

Therapy can assist you with perfectionism anxiety. CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) is an example of a helpful to those struggling with perfectionism and modifies their thinking related to it. Therapy can help you identify the reasons for being a perfectionist and gives you more tools to overpower it. Besides that, a good coach can help you regain your sense of worthfulness, self-esteem, and self-confidence.

In Conclusion, Rekindle the missing spark in your relationship, which will make your relationship healthy. If you have been experiencing relationship issues, consult me to improve your relationship. I strongly believe that the world can be better if it is filled with love. I have helped several clients form healthy relationships. Love yourself first so that you can love the other person.

For queries, consult ‘Dr. Alireza Sharifi’ at (647) 671 0002 or email me at alireza@altatc.ca.

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